How to Tell You’re Boss You’re Pregnant

I remember being nervous to tell my boss I was pregnant. It was 2008 and I was working remotely well before the corporate world considered this a feasible working arrangement. This gave me more flexibility in managing the considerable morning sickness and clothing adjustments I needed to make even in the first trimester.  

Fortunately, I had an incredibly supportive manager, who celebrated with me when I shared the news, throughout my pregnancy, and during my eventual four-month maternity leave (unpaid, might I add.)  

Not every manager is so supportive, and even if they are, it can be difficult to know how to tell your boss you’re pregnant and when. Here are three things to help you feel more prepared and ready to share this exciting news. 

1.     Research Your Company’s Maternity Policies 

Spend some time researching your company’s maternity leave policies online, as well as your state’s pregnancy and maternal leave policies. Determine what is covered (and what is not) by your company, so you can begin making decisions about how you’ll manage your leave. It’s also important to understand your available protections under your state’s policies and laws. Though you hopefully will not have to reference this information again, it’s best for you to be prepared.  

Do as much of this initial research on your own as you can without involving human resources or other colleagues, so you can keep this news to share on your own timeline. You can always ask HR for clarifications later. 

2.     Determine When to Share the News 

According to the Family and Medical Leave Act, you are not legally required to tell your employer about your pregnancy until 30 days before your planned leave, unless you are seeking accommodations, like a more flexible working arrangement. That said, you may choose to share earlier, because you want to support your employer in making plans for your leave. Consider the many factors that can affect your timing, including your health and wellbeing, your relationship with your boss, and your organizational culture. Many women prefer to wait until after the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage decreases, and that is a personal choice. Some women also prefer to time their news around a work deadline, such as after performance evaluation or promotion process—because as much as we wish it weren’t true, there is a bias against mothers at work.  

3.     Plan What to Say to Your Boss 

Tell your boss first before you share with work friends and colleagues. Your boss will respect hearing this news directly from you. Like any significant conversations with your boss, it’s ideal if you’re able to tell them in person or as close to in person as circumstances allow (Zoom or phone also work.) It’s okay to feel nervous about talking to your boss. Share your update proudly and confidently. After all, this is wonderful news!  

Here is a format you can use to share with your boss:

[Name], I’m excited to share with you that I’m pregnant and due in [MONTH].

Keep it straightforward and brief.  

I’ve given initial thought to coverage while I’m away, which I’m happy to share, and look forward to discussing further with you in an upcoming 1:1. 

You don’t have to have every detail figured out when you share with your boss, and they will appreciate that you took the time to think through some of this.

I’m committed to [COMPANY] and look forward to continued growth here. 

This last part is important to reiterate, even if you’re not completely sure what your future plans are, because some companies write off women for future career opportunities when they share their pregnancy. (No, this is not okay, and, yes, it’s real.) 

Upon hearing your news, I sincerely hope your boss will celebrate with you. If your boss reacts with more than surprise, or worse, negatively, remember this is a reflection on them—and might be an indicator of how supportive they and/or the company may be during and beyond your pregnancy. 

Unfortunately, working mothers are perceived to be less committed and capable than other employees, though we know this isn’t accurate. Remember, you can love your job and your career—and be great at both. And you can help change the negative stereotype. Most importantly, you’re not alone.

For those who are expecting or currently working mothers, join me in breaking these stereotypes by adding Mother to your LinkedIn profile or resume.